Wish

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I wish you weren’t so damn charming
I wish you had shifty eyes and red flag habits
I wish you were ugly.
I wish everything you said or did was a signal for me to run as fast as I could.

I wish your sense of humour was more out of phase with mine
I wish I could stop keeping my hands free just in case you want to hold them
I wish I would stop liking guys who will never fall in love with me

I wish our frequency was off
I wish you weren’t 16 going on 17
I wish you didn’t have that
Messy-cool hair
Cute little laugh
Pretty sparkling eyes and

I wish I could stop thinking about how your hugs feel like
Warm blankets fresh from the dryer
I wish I could stop thinking about how your every breath sounds like
An unfinished sentence waiting to happen
I wish I could stop thinking about your dumb sweet words
Like they were beautiful bullets lodged in my chest

I wish I could stop laughing at all of yout dumb jokes
I wish I could stop blushing at every time you say something cute
I wish I didn’t see your two-dollar tipping as sweet

I wish I felt smaller under your hands.
I wish you were a liar
I wish you didn’t give two fucks about me

I wish I could find something to hate about you
I wish I could find something unbearable about you
I wish I could find something that doesn’t tear my heart away

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