The Blue Slam Bam

Performed at the Blue Man Poetry Slam, performance here

I have been swimming in an ocean of exhaustion
Fatigue has set it at last and I blame depression.
So I signed up for a slam
But I hadn’t written anything relevant to the slam
So I’d just list things that are blue.

The sea.
The sky (most of the time).
The blue man group.
Blue frosting
That ugly dress I wore on my dad’s birthday
My best friend’s hair.
The feeling of melancholy and sadness.
Depression, when it first hits.

Broken dreams.
The back of my crush’s shirt when he left.
My ex’s T-Shirt on the floor.
The little cord things on my ex-fiancee’s green hoodie.
Cookie monster.
He loved cookie monster. Said it was his favourite character.

My cousin’s hat.
My favourite hoodie.
My ex’s blanket draped over me as he tucked me in for the day, because I had a stomachache.
I would say tears, but those things aren’t blue no matter what people say. They sure feel blue, though.
My ex’s t-shirt when I hugged him after 3/4s of a year not talking.
My self-love.
My childhood.

Heteronormative representation of males.
I hate heteronormity, straight cis males but-
Why do I like him so much?
Maybe to love is to be blue, too.
How I felt when he started ignoring me and dating our classmate at the same time. After he acted like he was crushing on me.
The rum I downed that night.
A water bottle, filled with apple cider.
What it feels like I’m drowning in a sea of my own tears.

My favourite shoes.
This poem.
My depression.

Everything I just said was Blue.


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