Just So You Know

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just so you know, i wasn’t always this way.
words are dropping from my fingertips,
so i broke the frozen blood from my hands.

my tongue is a blade.
it cuts up my mouth and i bleed words whether i want to or not.
so i cut my tongue off.

just so you know, i wasn’t always this way.
things are harder to believe in now.
my eyes are also bleeding.

asphyxiation is poetry.
i’m bleeding.
i still catch myself breathing, by accident.

drowning is love.
i’m breathing.
i still catch myself living, by accident.

suicide.
i write words on paper, hoping it’d make sense one day.
so far, i haven’t gotten very close.

just so you know, i wasn’t always this way.
i won’t explain.
you won’t understand.

breathe. live. bleed. stop.
words make sense only when i want them to.
breathe. live. bleed. stop. exhale.

i dreamt i was being burnt alive.
my skin still tingles.
i was burning at 451 fahrenheit.

just so you know, i used to be happier.
just so you know, i am also a very good liar.
that’s scary.

why am i still standing here?
walking is what moves me forward.
i left my left leg somewhere.

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