On Making Mistakes

Fall in love. First date at his place went great. Regret nothing. Love every second of being together. Cuddle up close, legs wrapped up around each other, the touch of our skin leaving gentle kisses where our lips haven’t been. Regret nothing.

Buy dinner. Watch him struggle to form words. Regret nothing. He’s sorry that he couldn’t afford dinner that day but don’t care. Kiss him. Regret nothing.

Buy condoms. Awkwardly. Friend’s party, first overnight chalet. Regret nothing. Time passes. Weird body disruptions. Start panicking.

One week. Nothing happens. No changes. Panic dies down. Buy condoms. Something happens. Panic again. Google is my best friend. Apparently normal. Regret nothing.

One month anniversary. Had sex. Went great. Regret nothing.

Had sex. Went great. Missed period. Not great. Regret everything.

Home remedies for abortion. Papayas. Sesame seeds and honey. Alcohol. Parsley and water. Pineapple juice. Alcohol. Alcohol. Alcohol. Get drunk. Regret everything.

Text him. I’m sorry, I should’ve been careful, I should’ve said something. No, I didn’t test.

Call him. He says he’s sorry. He says he should’ve realised. Regret everything. Love him. Try not to cry, try not to cry. You’ve been together one month.

Problem was fixed with home remedies. Normal cycle continues. Mistakes were made. Still together.

Fall in love. Spend whole day at his place. Regret nothing. Cuddle up close, legs wrapped up around each other, skin touching where lips won’t go. Regret nothing. Love him. He loves you too.

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