Before We Begin

before we begin

There’s Something That You Should Know

Before we begin I’d like to tell you all that I am transgender. I knew I was male ever since I was fifteen and I know that seems a little young, a little bit too soon to know for sure that this isn’t a phase but I could also say that about everyone in this room, so. You’re never too young to know what you prefer to be called.

And before we begin I’d also like to tell you that I’m gay, meaning I like men, but I also feel like saying that makes me less trans. Like, people often say “But you’re trans, you can’t be both” because yes, I definitely can be trans and gay at the same time, those two aren’t mutually exclusive and honestly the idea that anyone can only be one thing at the time is hilarious to me.

And before we begin I’d like to tell you I still wear skirts. I like to feel the breeze between my legs, free, because sometimes, passing as male is feels like an uncomfortable addition between my legs rather than one hundred percent accuracy all the time. I also think that people have to be crazy to want to wear pants – Even shorts – at all in this weather.

And I know I’m starting to sound repetitive but before we begin, I’d like to tell you that it’s okay to tell me I look pretty, I know this looks pretty I mean look at this, this girl is on point. And by girl I don’t mean me, exactly I mean my body, just my body because me? I am just a brain, just the musings of the only part of this vessel than can form coherent thoughts, I am just a prisoner of this vessel and I am determined to make her beautiful. My name is Alexander, her name is not. And I would like you to compliment her, please. She is a work of art I’ve spent at least two hours working on this morning so would you please, at least tell me she looks good today?

And now that you know all that you’re supposed to know about me we can begin, but I certainly am wondering what we are beginning, because you are eyeing my skirt and probably thinking “Okay, but you shouldn’t wear a skirt because that makes things confusing” and no friend of mine should ever say that.

Look. I know that ‘trans’ tends to translate into images of drag queens and the idea of ‘A boy in a girl’s body’ or vice versa or men in skirts but the truth is, trans can be all of those things but trans never means that all of us are those things. Gender comes in the form of a randomised generator where each time you pull the lever it says “God knows whatever this is but it looks hella cute”.

So when I tell you “Hi, my name is Alexander, I’m a boy, my pronouns are He/Him, this is my boyfriend, and yes I am in a skirt”, it means only one thing.

“Hi, my name is Alexander. Nice to meet you.”

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