To The Boy I Never Wrote Poetry For

poem for the boy i never wrote poetry for.jpg

An Open Letter

If you still think of me on days where the sun is too bright,
I hope you still think I was worth it.
That we were worth something.
I wonder now, about your life.

Do you still write?
Do you still dream?
Do you still lie back to watch the stars collide?
Do you still sing despite what people say?

There are things I wonder about you,
There are times where I think that you were too good to be true.
Believe me when I say that this didn’t happen because I wasn’t good enough for you.

I know this because I know I’d still be here for you.

If you still think of me on days where a jet stream soars above your head,
I hope you still believe in being okay.
That you will soon be happy again.

I wonder now, about your days

Do you still dance?
Do you still breathe?
Do you still catch yourself singing our song, my dear?
Do you still catch a voice that sounds vaguely like mine, and turn around thinking it’s me?

It has ended, everything does,
It has started to rain all over the world.
My body is now a graveyard for the things I could’ve kept for myself.

I didn’t give it willingly, though I will always say I did.
I didn’t give it willingly, but what good can saying so do?
My body is a graveyard for the things he took from me, for it is now gone for good.

If you still think of me on days where you laugh without a single care in the world,
I hope you still remember the days you made me laugh.
That you still remember the tears, the smiles, the warmth in someone’s eyes.

Do you still think of me?
Do you still remember my face?
My eyes? My hair? My voice?

If you still think of me,
I hope you forgive the fact that I hadn’t written a love poem for you until this very moment.
It’s just been too hard to put down my feelings for you,

Not just on paper, but on concrete, on tree barks,
It’s easier to just forget about everything we had,
But it’s never been good to do what’s easy just because it’s easy.

I still think of you on days where I cry myself to sleep,
I wonder if you really think I was someone worth breaking yourself for.
I wonder if you still think of me.

Is it unreasonable to hope my voice is an echo in your head?
I’ve had someone who’s still calling,
But he won’t be here for long.

He’d take what he wants, and leave me half dead,
Making me wish I stayed where you were,
Because with you, I never felt more alive.

I still think of you on days where I feel like my life had made a turn for the better,
And yet I wonder why I still wish to talk to you, to tell you that I’m sorry.
That once upon a time, I really did love you.

I wonder if you ever thought the same.

Do you still love?

Do you still hope?

Do you still believe in me?

If one day we meet,
Just one wild day, one moment where we see each other on opposite ends of the street,
Or maybe at a store
Or an in office building.

We will look different.
My hair will be red, like how it is now,
Yours- Well, I don’t know.
But we will look different.

Older, maybe more haunted, maybe less haunted,
Time can do wonders to those who still hope.
We will look different, but maybe we’d smile.
Maybe we’d remember that once upon a time our worlds orbited around each other,
Maybe then, we wouldn’t have to be over yet.

We weren’t a mistake or failures,
The only mistake we were both a part of
Was the one we made on where we get off this roller coaster love,
We weren’t failures.

We weren’t supposed to end up this way,
But we can never go back.
I can’t take back the mistakes I made,
We can’t pick up the pieces to build once more.

If you still think that loving me was worth it,
Then tell me you forgive me,
Please, it’s the least you can do now.

If you still think that I was worth breaking yourself for,
If you still think that I was worth your broken, shattered heart,
Then maybe what we had would still count for something.

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